Some of the most well intended, but ultimately harmful advice is “Be nice”. Have we created a generation of doormats? Being nice at all costs invites a host of problems at the individual level.
The original intent, I suspect is to help us be more pro-social. Acceptance into groups offers social status and security, and at our core we are social animals. We thrive on acceptance, inclusiveness, and teamwork. While these are all great things, there’s an underlying issue that needs to be brought to light: the tribe seeks strong members.
Being nice at all costs effectively grooms the individual to be a submissive, people pleaser. They will never stand up for themselves, and will agree just to get along. This is dangerous and harmful in a couple of different ways:
- Lack of Validation
- Used as an emotional dumping ground
- Prime target for bullying
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